Wednesday, 30 November 2016

C & H

Calvin and Hobbes

Better at Football Too

brexit-infographic.jpg

Germany has been named the top career destination choice for UK citizens packing their bags and briefcases in anticipation of Brexit, according to new study.
After the UK had voted to leave the EU in June, many unhappy residents started considering their options. The number of Britons applying for an Irish passport increased by 73 per cent in July compared to the previous year. Meanwhile, data from New Zealand’s immigration office received 998 registrations on the day of Brexit alone.
TInd

Good Riddance

Former darts world champion Eric Bristow has been sacked by Sky Sports after suggesting that footballers who have been sexually abused by coaches when they are younger are not “proper men”.

Bristow, 59, launched an ill-advised Twitter rant on Monday night in relation to the football scandal that has rocked the sport amid a growing number of historical claims of child abuse against coaches.



TInd

My photo

Never been a fan of his and hope he gets his full comeuppance.  Time to cancel that MBE too...

Dear Frosty...

The letter in Russian with Christmas illustrations
Russia's media regulator has offered official guidance on children's letters to Grandfather Frost, the country's equivalent of Father Christmas, over concerns that youngsters are handing over too much personal information.
Roskomnadzor, which also regulates telecoms, says it's seen a growth in the number of websites offering letters to Grandfather Frost which collect children's personal details. In a post on the VKontake social network it says it's investigating 76 such sites.

BBC

Wifey's Birthday

Have a friend or relative who's quick to correct your typos? Give them a gift that celebrates their love of (grammatically correct) language.

1. THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE ILLUSTRATED; $14

William Strunk Jr. and E. B. White's extensive—and sometimes snarky—guide to grammar was published in 1920, but it's still considered a go-to for writing purists who are wary of change. The bookshelf staple, with a foreword by Roger Angell and updated with 57 colorful illustrations by Maira Kalman, is sure to offer up hours of education (which is entertainment to the language lover in your life).
Find It: Amazon

2. PENCILS; $9

These pencils will help keep common homophones straight. The retro sets of five are decorated with gold foil letters hand-pressed onto the sides. The Etsy store also offers up a set of red pencils that feature short, grammar-positive statements.
Find It: Etsy

3. QUOTE EARRINGS; $10

High marks: The delicate metal earrings are less than an inch tall, making them a subtle but charming choice for any punctuation lover.
Find It: ModCloth

4. *YOU'RE NECKLACE; $22 AND UP

The pendant, which comes in the material of your choice, is dedicated to a well-known pet peeve amongst the literate.
Find It: Etsy

5. PUNCTUATION POSTER; $36

Everyone knows about the question mark and the semicolon, but what about the interrobang? This simple poster, available in three different sizes and 60 different colors, celebrates the punctuation that really helps writers get their point across. It's printed on satin luster paper with ChromaLife 100 inks, creating a long-lasting piece of artwork.
Find It: Etsy

6. SHADY CHARACTERS; $16

Keith Houston's book offers up a thorough look at the history of the written word. Readers can learn about the rich stories behind punctuation marks, including tales that cover everything from Ancient Roman graffiti to George W. Bush.
Find It: Amazon

7. AMPERSAND MARQUEE; $20

The ampersand is a divisive punctuation mark in writing, but it's widely loved in design; the attractive logogram can be found everywhere from wedding invitations to tattoos. This metal light stands at almost 10 inches, making it a nice statement piece in any home.
Find It: Amazon

8. POP CULTURE PARTS OF SPEECH; $29

Grammar is even more accessible with the help of beloved pop culture characters. ET, Robocop, Holly Golightly, Walter White, and more all come together to help teach tricky grammar terms. The poster is broken down into seven basic parts: nouns, verbs, adjectives, pronouns, adverbs, prepositions, and conjunctions.
Find It: Pop Chart Lab

9. OWL SHIRT; $15

Do you have a friend who's always correcting everyone with a stern "whom?" With the help of two owls, this shirt pokes light fun at two counterparts to the oft-neglected word. The lightweight, cotton shirt comes in a classic white with sizes for men, women, and children.
Find It: Amazon

10. MOBY DICK SENTENCE DIAGRAM TOTE; $22

This large, 16-inch-wide tote bag features the opening and closing lines from the classic book, Moby Dick. The diagrammatic words follow the Reed-Kellogg system (a parse tree that breaks down the grammatical structure of a sentence). The thick canvas bag is screenprinted on both sides and has a collapsible gusset for storing.
Find It: Pop Chart Lab
MF

My XXXX Bad- 3

7
The family who rented an XXX DVD from Redbox

The family who rented an XXX DVD from Redbox
A California family got an eyeful when the DVD they rented from a Redbox turned out to be X-rated.

Patriarch David Morris went to a Walmart in Dixon to rent a movie from Redbox. He picked the action-comedy Central Intelligence but went home with something else altogether. "It wasn't a typical porno movie. It was old people in their sixties or seventies. That's what shocked us. We thought it was a bad preview for some cheesy movie. But as it progressed we were like, 'No, this is the real deal.' So we stopped it. And we took it out of the DVD player," Morris said.

Whoever committed the prank printed a fake DVD label that looked exactly like the Central Intelligence label and glued it to the x-rated flick. It was only after Morris stopped the movie and ejected it from his DVD player that he noticed the edges of the label were peeling up.

"Definitely not what I was expecting that night," he said. (Source | Photo)



8
The porn that was heard over a department store loudspeaker

The porn that was heard over a department store loudspeaker
Target shoppers in Campbell, California, got an early morning earful of porn playing over a loudspeaker in 2015. 

Mom Gina Young was in the store with her two sons when she heard the commotion and posted a video of the incident to social media. The Minnesota-based retailer believes the pornographic audio originated from an outside source and had so far determined that no employees were involved in the disturbing broadcast. (Source | Photo)



9
The congressional candidate who forgot to close his porn tabs before sharing a screenshot on Facebook

The congressional candidate who forgot to close his porn tabs before sharing a screenshot on Facebook
Virginia congressional candidate Mike Webb posted a message on Facebook along with a screenshot of his browser in early 2016. He intended to use the image to show how a staffing agency in Alexandria, Virginia, was closed down, but instead showed tabs that were open to porn on his browser. 

He was caught "red-handed," but later hinted it's okay because it boosted his social media engagement. In an another post, Webb said, "Lessons affirmed today include that we do expect our leaders to be examples of our highest ideals, but also, as we have seen for almost a year in non-traditional length posts, people are interested and motivated by truth and substance, not flash or even scandal." He then notes his social media growth — 25% growth in Facebook page likes in just one day! — and adds, "Perhaps, what doesn't kill you does make you stronger." 

Webb did not make it onto the general election ballot later in the year. (Source)

My XXXX Bad- 2

4
The teacher who accidently uploaded porn to his school's server

The teacher who accidently uploaded porn to his school's server
In 2014, teacher Robert Adams, who worked at Deighton Primary School in Tredegar, South Wales, was suspended after he uploaded pornography onto his school's IT system. 

The snafu was caught by colleagues when they noticed the images, which were stored in a folder called "Glam." Adams had agreed to upload school work resources to a personal memory stick after the servers had been shut down for maintenance work. When they were back up, he uploaded the files back onto the system, along with his alleged private adult porn collection.

Adams was removed from the teaching register indefinitely and cannot apply to be reinstated until 2019. (Source)



5
The school that distributed porn DVDs to its students

The school that distributed porn DVDs to its students
In June 2016, an elementary school in Haifa, Israel apologized to parents after DVDs distributed to sixth-grade students were found to contain porn. 

The school sent text messages to parents warning them not to allow their children to watch the discs, which were supposed to depict scenes from a recent graduation party. 

90 kids received the DVDs as part of the school's celebration of National Hug Day. (Source)



6
The rugby player whose phone was hacked with porn during a talk on cyber security

The rugby player whose phone was hacked with porn during a talk on cyber security
Ooops! In November 2016, Australian Rugby League player Jarryd Hayne showed pornographic images to schoolchildren — by accident, of course. 

Hayne showed the lewd pictures to pupils during a presentation on cyber security. When asked by officials to explain what had happened, he was adamant the images were not his. 

After an investigation, he was found to be telling the truth. 

The images were beamed into an auditorium at Robina State High School as the recent Gold Coast Titans recruit showed some of the contents of his phone to more than 200 children during a presentation on behalf of Norton Security. During that time, an unknown person connected to the non-password protected wifi network “injected unwanted materials” into Hayne's presentation. (Source)

My XXXX Bad- 1

1
The porn that was shown on a digital billboard — and caused a traffic jam

The porn that was shown on a digital billboard — and caused a traffic jam
In August 2016, Karve Road in Pune, India saw a traffic jam for the weirdest reason you could think of — an accidental display of porn on a digital billboard that was shown to the public. The "sexy seduce cam" clip attracted the attention of both pedestrians and motorists. It turned out that the person responsible for the gaffe was watching porn on a system which was mistakenly connected to the display outside. (Source)



2
The XXX movie that played during a man's funeral

The XXX movie that played during a man's funeral
During the funeral service for Simon Lewis, 33 and his baby son, also called Simon, who were both killed in a car crash on New Year's Eve, 2016, hardcore porn was played on on a large screen instead of a video tribute to the deceased. An attendee said it took nearly four minutes for the porn to be turned off at Thornhill Crematorium, Cardiff, adding to the family's anguish.

Cardiff council immediately launched an investigation into the matter and issued an apology. They said in a statement: "We are trying to establish whether the smart TV could have picked up a broadcast by accident from Bluetooth or a wifi connection. The other TVs were not affected." (Source)



3
The man who purchased a DVD for his children — and got something very adult instead

The man who purchased a DVD for his children — and got something very adult instead
Wayne Nunn and his toddler daughter got a lot more than they bargained for when purchasing a DVD from The Crazy Store (yes, that's really its name). 

The doting South African dad was horrified to discover that he had inadvertently shown his daughter and her friends “soft porn" during a playdate at his house. He told reporters that the youngsters were left traumatized by a porn movie called Girl Refined, which he left to run while he went to do other chores. The kids had reportedly been expecting to watchBarbie and the Nutcracker. The store apologized and said it removed the product from its shelves and was investigating how its suppliers could have made the blunder. (Source)

Oddee

DYK?

During World War II, Navajo Indians were inducted into the Marine Corps to become "code talkers" on the front lines. Navajo Code Talkers proved to have the only code that was never cracked during World War II.

Ta-dah!

Well Said?

I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty.
Nancy Reagan
US 2nd wife of Ronald Reagan 1952 (1921 - )

Soya Bean Counters

Wafer thin ham
Slices of thin-cut ham are to be accepted as legal tender in the place of £5 notes, the Bank of England has confirmed.
The ham, which vegetarians and vegans claim contains animal products, will be accepted by banks and major shops from December 1st, just in time for Christmas shopping.
Experts predict the average weekly shop for a family of four will cost £120, or eight chunky slices of gammon and a Scotch egg.
Bank of England chairman Mark Carney defended the decision, but said that he intended to go ‘the whole hog’ with his monetary policy decisions.
However, vegan groups have expressed anger over the announcement and insisted that using organic kale and quinoa flavour textured corn chips in place of fifty pence pieces would make more economic sense.
A petition demanding that banks stop accepting slices of ham, rashers of bacon and Greggs ‘pink goo’ sausage rolls in place of money has already gathered over 5,000 signatures, meaning that it will achieve precisely nothing.
Since the announcement, a unique slice of Waitrose premium ham with a pattern that looks a bit like a cash machine on it has already been put on sale to collectors for £500.
NT

Ham Sandwiches

The UK's new fiver has won many fans since it was launched in September.
It's tough. It doesn't tear. You can spill beer on it, put it through the washing machine and it will survive to buy another round.
But one thing it turns out it's not, is fat-free.
Because it turns out the plastic polymer it's made from also contains small amounts of tallow, derived from animal waste products - and some vegetarians are not happy.
Familiar to previous generations as the base for every day staples such as soap and candles, tallow is traditionally derived from beef or mutton (but sometimes pork) at the slaughterhouse or later in the food production process.
Vegans and vegetarians faced with this revelation have taken to social media to voice their concern and over 40,000 people have signed a petition calling for the contents of the notes to be changed.

More at the BBC

Shaz, You're Missed

Expected

Third Test, Mohali (day four):
England 283 & 236: Root 78, Hameed 59*, Ashwin 3-81
India 417 & 104-2: Patel 67*
India won by eight wickets
England now need a major miracle to even draw the 5 series Test but have a bit of time to recover as the 4th rubber is not until 8th December.  And they'll need it.

By the end of their tour to India, England will have played seven Tests in two months and 17 in total in a 2016.  That's a lot of cricket- and a lot of losing.

New and Clean

With Khun Ayr leaving the apartment sparkling fresh on Monday we just had to do the bedclothes yesterday and we now have a flat we can hole up for a few nights in complete luxury.

Boy, are we going to make the most of it.

Southgate Safe

He is due to be pronounced the new Team Eng-er-land manager later today (Wednesday) and will be on a reputed £1.5 - £2.0 million if he can hang onto the job for more than a month or two.

No big surprise considering the lack of competition and we'll see how well he can motivate his team when they play us in a friendly next year.

Toon Take It

Despite missing three penalties in the quarter final EPL Cup, Newcastle progress into the semi finals.  I hope they meet The Arse and send them out...

UPDATE:  Got that entirely arse about face as it's the Toon that crashed out on penalties to Hull.  Sorry, my fault for misleading you and wifey sure ain't going to be happy when I tell her.

More of the Same

We've become so sick of going on the lash that we have every intention of staying in until Saturday, when it is Khun Alix's birthday.  After that, our next planned outing will be for wifey's birthday on 10th.  From nightly sessions to once a week, we'll have to see how well we fare but currently that seems like a very nice fortnight ahead of us indeed.  😀