Wednesday, 25 April 2018

Viz Bits

Letterbocks – tardis toilet facilities

Like Buses

We have just had yet another wireless mouse go tits up this week.  That's the third in as many days and they are all form different computer or Minix boxes.  No idea why but it is not only frustrating but going to be expensive to replace.  😕

Always Late to the Party


Image result for spider-man spinners
Anyone remember the "spinner" fad from last year?  I obviously didn't bother but somehow (found it lying on the street) I ended up with one recently and it is really quite addictive.

Where was this when I was trying to give up smoking?

News Thump

Mike Pence to pray for Donald Trump
Vice President Mike Pence has leapt into action to cure Macron and prevent President Trump catching any gayness after he was kissed on the cheeks by the French president yesterday.
There were horrifying scenes at the White House yesterday as Emmanuel Macron, a man, suddenly went all crazy and kissed Trump, believed to be male, on both cheeks.
“This sort of behaviour will not be tolerated, no siree, not on my watch,” fumed an incensed Mike Pence.
“We thought this Macron fella was, you know, one of ‘us’. A good, straight, red-blooded male capable only of god-fearing blokey type things. And yet he kissed Trump – not once, but twice!”
He went on, “Isn’t this Macron fella married to a woman? That doesn’t make any sense. I’m so confused. Is he undercover for the gays?
“But I’ve been praying for him and his eternal soul, because as everyone knows, God sends all the gays to Hell – especially the ones who go and about it in public – and I’ve also prayed that Donald won’t have caught any gay or anything nasty.
“Thank goodness the kiss wasn’t on the lips – I have heard from my church group that you can die if a man kisses you on the lips.
“I mean, I’ve never been to France or anything, but I’d bet my bottom dollar that men don’t go around kissing each other.”
An aide to Mr Macron has confirmed to us that he fully intends to continue kissing Trump on the cheeks just ‘for shits and giggles’.
NT

Blimey

Liverpool send five past Roma in the first of the Champions League semi-finals but stuff it up a bit by conceding two late goals against the run of play. I'm sure it will be enough to see them through but they still have a return match in Italy next week before they are safe.

Munich take on Real tonight and I would love to see them do for Madrid.  Munich/Liverpool final would be rather pleasant.

DYK?

Fun Facts 08

Well Said


I never lie because I don't fear anyone. You only lie when you're afraid.
John Gotti

Landed Safely

We I always take advantage of our my long suffering sister-in-law and on this occasion I asked her to send on a couple of parcels once they (in-laws) had got back home.  It avoids expensive P & P when posted locally and helps save a load of delivery time.

Both items arrived safely at their destinations so all is well on that front too.  Many thanks, Shaz.

Sparkling

Khun Ayr has blitzed the place and by the look of things taken all of our mats home with her to wash them.  I expect we'll get a knock on the door later with a pile of freshly laundered rugs and what have you as she usually also looks after Karen and Dean's gaff on a Wednesday.

We've also been busy and done all the washing and swapped tired bed clothes for new stuff.

The only bits missing off the "to do" list was making some jerky.  All the usual outlets had no stock of beef strips so I cheated and bought some (pork jerky in sticky barbecue sauce) to see me through.

I much prefer my own version but that can wait a week or so now.

Excellent

Just had word from our landlady who said she would be at the AGM and that she will raise our concerns regards leaving footwear on our doorstep.  She will then arrange to meet us afterwards to sign new contracts.

😎

C & H

December 13, 1995

Tuesday, 24 April 2018

Clean As

We get Khun Ayr back today after a three week break due to the New Year's festivities.  We do keep on top of things during the week anyway but it's always nice to have a pristine flat and we will give her all the room she needs by heading off to Mega Bang Na for a few hours.

Viz Bits

Letterbocks – Match of the day

See/Hear for Yourself

Superb

Just caught the Wilko Johnson/Roger Daltrey version of "Going Back Home".  Cor.

Heavier and more aggressive than the original, this gets the foot tapping.

I miss live pub music.

This is the Stuff

Image result for angel delight

Except ours was yellow...

And I was lazy and used an electric blender.

Bugger

Decided to spoil ourselves and made up an Angel Delight.  It's a quite horrid (to some) dessert you make up by whisking the packet with milk and then setting in a fridge.  Don't ask, I don't like milk, am not too fussed by bananas and yet there I was, chucking the ingredients into the blender.  I think it's a hankering after childhood memories.

We also happened to have a couple of ripe bananas to hand which would have gone to waste so in they went too and once all frothy and well mixed, I poured out two portions and put them into the fridge.

Then it all went slightly wrong.  We decided to go to the pub.

Fast forward a day and vague memories of "afters" lurking in the fridge, so I tried one.  It hadn't set properly and it had almost separated into two layers of pudding and fruit.  It was then I seemed to recall that you were meant to scoff your Angel D on the day...

That said, it still tasted rather good once re-mixed, if a bit (lot) runny.  A bit like a banana milkshake.  So I lobbed a load of bran flakes in and had a late, late breakfast.  Second bowl tonight- wifey won't touch hers.  😁

Says Who?

Who gets to decide what good manners are?  Or proper etiquette?  Or what is deemed good literature?  Who has the authority or sway to establish something is good art or not?  Or why something is good or something is bad?

I see stuff that has long been accepted as supposedly good because it has always been so (based usually on the say so of some so called expert- and who has challenged their qualifications?) but why does no one ever review this and go: "erm, quite honestly this stuff is shit.  It was never any good and it's certainly not worth a wank in this day and age".

To me it's the Emperor's new clothes and everyone is taken in by this.  Are we too timid to speak up and say, "sorry, but Shakespeare at the time may have been good but it's tired and dated and we have better authors now".  Or "why the fuck are you wearing a tie with your suit?  It looks quite ridiculous and speaks volumes about you."

I think what I am trying to say is why does no one dare to question convention?  Are we all sheep who want an easy life?  Why are we living in the past all the time?

C & H

December 14, 1985

Monday, 23 April 2018

It's Rather Good

With Brighton always getting the limelight, many people forget about Southend but it does get a mention at TInd (full listing) as one of the top ten seaside resorts in the UK:

Southend-on-Sea

Southend-on-Sea.jpg
Traditional beach huts at Thorpe Bay, Southend-on-Sea (Getty Images/iStock)
With an increasing number of routes going out of Southend Airport, it’s easy to forget that there’s no need to fly out – the Essex town is an ideal seaside destination on sunny days.
Adventure Island is popular with families for its rides, golf and go karting, while Cliffs Pavilion shows musicals, ballets and concerts should the English weather let you down.
Home to the longest pleasure pier in the world, Southend-on-Sea is also known for its traditional seafront arcades.

Note:  Old Leigh/Leigh Broadway a few miles away is far better...

Old Dog/New Tricks

Members of the Campaign for Real Ale (Camra) have approved some changes to the organisation's remit, extending the group's work beyond real ale for the first time.
Proposals calling for the organisation to provide information, education and training to those with an interest in beer, cider and perry "of any type" were passed at Camra's annual general meeting on Saturday.
A more general suggestion for Camra to act as the voice of "all pub-goers" was rejected. It followed the largest consultation Camra had ever carried out, gathering views from more than 25,000 members, who filled in online surveys and attended consultation meetings across the country.
TInd

Good Gag

people share their go to never fail bad jokes 20 photos 8 People share their go to never fail bad jokes (20 Photos)

More Fine Names

The Argentinian burger patties called Barfy, the Asian hot pepper sauce known as Shitto or the Macedonian beer called Vergina.

Lad Bible

Not Fake News*

‘Shyte’ chocolate bar mocked because of its crap sounding name

Why would a Canadian company brand its chocolate protein bar as "Shyte"?

No idea, but it will either be a masterstroke of publicity or the biggest own goal since King Cnut (Canute) lost his argument with the tide.


*If you don't believe me, go here...

Well Said

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Aesop
Greek slave & fable author (620 BC - 560 BC)

Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink

With anti-piracy outfits and dubious law-firms policing BitTorrent swarms at an increasing rate, many Bittorrent users are looking for ways to hide their identities from the outside world. To accommodate this demand we'll give an overview of 5 widely used privacy services.
With an increasing number of BitTorrent users seeking solutions to hide their identities from the outside world, privacy services have seen a spike in customers recently. Below we’ve listed some of the most-used services that allow BitTorrent users to hide their IP-addresses from the public.
The services discussed in this post range from totally free to costing several dollars a month. The general rule is that free services are generally slower or have other restrictions, while paid ones can get you the same speeds as your regular connection would.

VPN

Update: This article is outdated, a 2017 review of VPN providers is available here.
Hundreds and thousands of BitTorrent users have already discovered that a VPN is a good way to ensure privacy while using BitTorrent. For a few dollars a month VPNs route all your traffic through their servers, hiding your IP address from the public. Some VPNs also offer a free plan, but these are significantly slower and not really suited for more demanding BitTorrent users.
Unlike the other services listed in this article, VPNs are not limited to just BitTorrent traffic, they will also conceal the source of all the other traffic on your connection too. , TorguardSlickVPN and PrivateInternetAccess are popular among BitTorrent users, but a Google search should find dozens more. It is recommended to ask beforehand if BitTorrent traffic is permitted on the service of your choice.

TORRENTPRIVACY

Torrentprivacy is another proxy service for BitTorrent users, very similar to that of BTGuard. It offers a modified uTorrent client that has all the necessary settings pre-configured. The downside to this approach is that it is limited to users on Windows platforms. TorrentPrivacy is operated by the TorrentReactor.net team and has been in business for more than two years.

ANOMOS

“Anomos is a pseudonymous, encrypted multi-peer-to-peer file distribution protocol. It is based on the peer/tracker concept of BitTorrent in combination with an onion routing anonymization layer, with the added benefit of end-to-end encryption,” is how the Anomos team describes its project.
Anomos is one of the few free multi-platform solutions for BitTorrent users to hide their IP-addresses. The downside is that it’s not fully compatible with regular torrent files as Anomos uses its own atorrent format. Another drawback is that the download speeds are generally lower than regular BitTorrent transfers.
On the uTorrent Idea Bank, more than 1,600 people have asked for the Anomos protocol to be built in to a future uTorrent build, making it the second most-popular suggestion overall.

SEEDBOX

A seedbox is BitTorrent jargon for a dedicated high-speed server, used exclusively for torrent transfers. With a seedbox users generally get very high download speeds while their IP-addresses are not shared with the public. Once a download is finished users can download the files to their PC through a fast http connection.

SHHHT

And then there’s Usenet.
Feel free to drop us a comment if you think we left something out, or if you have experiences or recommendations you want to share.
TF

Bye Bye Arsene

The Arse "supporters" finally get their way to see the back of Wenger.

Being a Tottenham fan I was not his biggest fan but I did respect his success, if not his devout myopic ability to miss faults with his team yet retain 20/20 vision if someone transgressed against them.

I wish him luck in the future and hope our rivals really rue the way they have hounded him out of his job.  With luck they will have to spend many years trying to plug the gap.


Viz Bits

Top Tip

FA Cup Final

Man U vs Chelsea.  *yawn*

I'll be in the blue corner as most of mates follow Chelsea and their manager is no longer Moaning Maureen.

And they didn't knock us out this weekend...

While the Cat's Away

We have our annual owners meeting where they have an opportunity to discuss matters for the forthcoming year with the current condo management team.

It's been fun watching all the staff scurrying around smartening up the place and making it look far better than it is.  Freshly painted lines, walls scrubbed, the pool is getting daily treatment (and thereby denying us the opportunity to use it) and plenty more.

Wifey spotted the Agenda posted up somewhere and it seems that they are proposing to take away of free golf buggy service (very hand for shopping), they have a new maintenance supervisor and they want to raise their fees.

Good luck to them trying to push that past the owners.

I am not overly impressed with this current company, much preferring the last lot but we are merely tenants and as long as they leave us be, we don't care.

Plug for Cameron

Man Box: Poems by [Conaway, Cameron]

Man Box: Poems Kindle Edition



And Obviously YouTube Too

Shame about the quality but that's good old VHS for you...





Humphrey

49. Humphreys

Related image

I have no idea why this has suddenly popped into my head but I remember trying to convince the in-laws that back in the 1970s Unigate milk had an advertising campaign that featured red and white striped straws belonging to "Humphreys" who would sneak about trying to nick your milk.  Their catch phrase was "watch out, watch out, there's a Humphrey about".

The guys swore blind they had never heard of it and decided it was Chang talking or perhaps yet another example of the north/south divide.

The real reason we love Google- ta to Campaign:

Four decades after they first appeared, the remaining memorabilia from one of the most memorable ad campaigns in the UK are still sought-after collectors’ items.
Mugs, T-shirts, badges, aprons, straws and even sneakers complete with pom-poms regularly turn up on eBay. All bear distinctive red-and-white stripes – and all carry a warning to beware of Humphreys.
The odd thing was that Humphreys never existed outside John Webster’s creatively fertile mind. They were never seen, but their milk-thieving activities prompted the Boase Massimi Pollitt creative chief’s advice to "watch out, watch out – there’s a Humphrey about".
It is a slogan that has hung around long after BMP produced a series of TV commercials in the 70s for Unigate. But it was the merchandising that has led Dave Trott, a contemporary of Webster at BMP, to call it "a viral phenomenon before the internet even existed".
Humphreys, supposedly shy and elusive characters whose presence was indicated only by a red-and-white straw with which to suck up the milk, were yet another testament to Webster’s ability to file things he saw and heard at the back of his mind for possible future use.
What’s more, the Unigate campaign encouraging more children to drink milk was a perfect example of how he was happy to change course creatively if research suggested an idea would not work.
Webster’s original plan had been to introduce characters based on his wartime memories of the "squander bugs", swastika-sporting, insect-like characters who encouraged people to help Hitler by wasting things such as food and electricity.
They were to be his inspiration for another set of characters with bad skin, no hair and missing teeth who were weak and small because they hated milk.
Jim Williams, the account planner, said it was the worst idea he had ever researched – focus groups found the characters a complete turn-off. However, he suggested that if Webster turned them into cuddly figures who loved milk, he could have the makings of a powerful campaign.
The result was Humphreys, whom Webster chose to make shy and retiring because he thought making them cute would be boring. He introduced them with a line he adapted from a police campaign of the time that warned: "Watch out, there’s a thief about."
The result was an all-round win. Children all over the country sang the Humphrey song, decorated their school bags with Humphrey stickers and were invited to join the Humphrey Club. Milk sales soared and Webster won a D&AD award for his work.

C & H

December 14, 1986

Sunday, 22 April 2018

Brilliant

Hold Up



Christmas and Easter forever getting closer together...

That "Special" Relationship

Supposedly what America and Britain share, but Tango Trumpet has yet to set foot in Great Britain since he managed to become the Prez of the US of A.  That was well over a year ago, back in November 2016.

However, the wait may now come to an end as the Trumpet is due to land this (late?) summer to cosy up to his BFF May at Downing Street.  But not before he has been to (alphabetically):

  • Belgium
  • China
  • France
  • Germany
  • Israel
  • Italy (x 2)
  • Japan
  • Philippines
  • Poland
  • Saudi Arabia
  • South Korea
  • Switzerland
  • Vatican City
  • Vietnam
  • the West Bank.

Surely that perfectly demonstrates how highly he regards the UK and May?  Or perhaps it is because he is chicken shit scared of the response that awaits his landing from the British public?

Or maybe it's both?

News Thump

Arsenal fans
Arsenal football clubs is rumoured to be planning to pick three managers now, to save time next autumn.
The North London football team are understood to be in crisis meetings all day, after Arsene Wenger’s departure left them with a vacancy in the critical ‘team scapegoat’ role.
Fans are excited at the prospect of a new face at which they can guide their vitriol, and the club is keen to ensure if provides the fans with the level scapegoat they have come to expect.
Club management has called for suggestions for who they can pin their next failure to qualify for the Champions League on, so long as the finger does not end up pointing at them in any way whatsoever.
“Top of the list of scapegoats is Arsene Wenger’s failure to spend more in the 1998 season, followed by Piers Morgan being an insufferable arsehole, and then in third place is the ‘wrong sort of grass on the pitch’,” said club Chairman Simon Williams.
“With a bit of luck and a fair wind, by Christmas we’ll be blaming the poor results on ‘morale and unreasonable refereeing decisions’ before everything just peters out into general grumbling by next March.”
“However, we want fans to go into the next season confident that our staggering run of underperformance and disappointment will continue unabated under, whoever is unfortunate enough to pick up the reins in the summer.
“To our loyal followers I’d like to say we won’t disappoint you. Well, we will, but you know what I mean.”
NT

Well Said

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
Eddie Izzard

Expected

Even the most ardent of Sunderland fans (b-i-l) had steeled themselves for the inevitable and yesterday their worst fears came true.  The Black Cats lost at home to Burton Albion (the winner was a penalty in the 93rd minute) and have been relegated for the second successive year on the trot.

Ironically, it means Sunderland will now be in the same division as Southend who are just as shit but it will be fun to see who's home town team will be best.

Got to be worth a pint or two on that one, Dave?

Good Gag

people share their go to never fail bad jokes 20 photos 12 People share their go to never fail bad jokes (20 Photos)

For the Record

Bangkok, Thailand is 4 hours ahead of Moscow, Russia so if games kick off at 20:00 local time, we will get it at midnight... not too bad if we're out on the pop and it's a later start than normal.

Afternoon games will be fine though.

Bonus

At the time of announcing we would be switching to fibre optic cabling, the condo management team also said they would be rectifying our terrestrial TV signal; something that had been absent for many months as there was a dispute as to who was responsible for paying to have it rectified.

Clearly the owners/tenants didn't bother as the TV screens have been blank for well over half a year or more (how would we know, we sadly can't follow Thai TV) but out of curiosity, I re-scanned our TV and found all the usual channels in attendance.

As said, most of the channels are of little use to us as we can't speak Thai but there are a couple that show English speaking films later in the day and they will also show the Russian World Cup later this year.

That is kinda handy due to the time zone difference; no way will I be getting up at stupid o'clock to find a bar showing the games, but if we now have it at our finger tips, that is much easier.  😎

Viz Bits

Letterbocks – Pope in a dress

Some Improvement?

We're now well into April and it has just occurred to me that the overhaul for our internet cabling should now be complete- we went to fibre optic and the work was due to be finished at the end of March.

I can't say I have noticed any difference in speed but we have always had good service there, however it does seem to be as stable as it was before.  We did have a few weeks of intermittent signal drop our slow loading of web pages, but fingers crossed, all seems well now.

Obviously that has now been given the kiss of death so I expect us to be off air for a while to teach me a lesson for saying things are really quite good.

Life on Mars

Having seen the back of some classic TV, wifey wondered what could possible keep us occupied and out of the bars.  We have the box sets of Game of Thrones and Boardwalk Empire, both of which we know are massive and will keep us out of trouble.  But we are really into retro UK stuff at the moment and so I pulled open my "rainy day" drawer.

We watched the first episode of Life on Mars and are already hooked.  Quite honestly we could have watched the entire series back to back but as there are only sixteen episodes (eight in each series) and it was getting late we forced ourselves to stop and eke them out.

This is far too good to rush through and I am hoping Ashes to Ashes will be equally as good as we have that too.

Match Report

Once again Manchester United have the chance to end an unconvincing season with a flash of the finest silver. Winners of this competition under Louis van Gaal in 2016, and of the Europa League and League Cup under José Mourinho last year, they secured a place in another final after condemning Tottenham and their manager, Mauricio Pochettino, to yet another campaign without a crowning achievement.
Given their history in this competition and others Tottenham came into the game with not so much a monkey on their back as an entire posse of primates. Their run of FA Cup semi-final failures has now been extended to eight, no significant trophies for a decade and just the two League Cups since they last snuck into the final and won this title, against Nottingham Forest in 1991. It represents a lengthy period if not quite in the wilderness then at least in a chilly hinterland.
But in a heated atmosphere it was Spurs who warmed up most swiftly, Harry Kane having their first shot within 30 seconds and Son Heung-min’s clever turn putting the United defence in real trouble for the first time in the second minute. From the start United struggled to cope with the pace and intensity of their game, and when they found a path back into the contest it was only after Tottenham had themselves pointed the way. Mousa Dembélé, one of several key players who ultimately disappointed for Spurs, gave the ball away deep inside his own half, Paul Pogba and Alexis Sánchez combined to impose brutal, beautiful punishment and from there the pattern of the game changed.
There could have been another twist had Antonio Valencia been more harshly punished for a two-footed lunge on Dele Alli three minutes later, but Anthony Taylor considered the offence worthy only of a caution.
That was after Spurs, having dominated the early exchanges, had taken the lead with a goal of humiliating simplicity. Ashley Young committed himself to pressing the ball deep inside the Tottenham half and Davinson Sánchez hit it long into the space the United left-back should have been covering. It was space Christian Eriksen had all to himself and with Pogba trailing behind him he had time to measure his cross, which Alli turned in.
There could, in the minutes that followed, have been more. Son’s looping cross was just too long for Kane, and a low ball by the South Korean seemed destined to be converted by Alli until Phil Jones hooked it clear. Kane set up Eriksen for a shot that bounced across goal and wide, and Son’s effort hit Valencia.
Michel Vorm, who has kept goal for Spurs throughout their cup run, had been woefully underemployed until Kieran Trippier, with the ball on the right flank, turned down the chance to clear and instead passed to Dembélé, who might have turned the ball into touch but tried to jink past Pogba and failed. The Frenchman spun and delivered a delicious centre that dipped on to Sánchez’s head for the equaliser.
That moment gave United the encouragement to match their rivals’ intensity and the remainder of the first half was considerably more even, ending with fine long-range shots from both sides. Pogba’s curler in the final minute was tipped wide and Eric Dier’s drive in stoppage time deflected off Chris Smalling and thumped the base of David de Gea’s right-hand post.
Smalling also got himself in the way of Tottenham’s first notable shot of the second half, deflecting Kane’s effort wide. That this took place nearly 14 minutes after the interval reflects a period of diminished pace and precision. But now it was United who were more often winning second balls and coming first in marginal races, Spurs being pressured into errors. Ander Herrera epitomised their improved work ethic in scoring their second goal, sprinting the length of the field and arriving on the edge of Tottenham’s penalty area with perfect timing. Sánchez’s pass from the left flicked off Romelu Lukaku’s studs, was left by Jesse Lingard and the Spaniard’s low drive flashed past Vorm.
Having survived their poor start, United flourished to eventually give a display of authority. Pogba impressed again, claiming an assist and hitting a couple of delicious long passes to Lukaku. Sánchez displayed the effervescence that marked his finer performances for Arsenal. Spurs, increasingly frustrated, played at times as if their primary target was not United’s goal but Lingard’s ankles. With Kane peripheral for long periods there was only one significant chance as they chased the game, when Victor Wanyama headed Érik Lamela’s free-kick harmlessly high in the 89th minute.
Instead United, having taken a comical amount of time over a couple of substitutions, might have extended their advantage in the resulting stoppage time. First Lukaku released Marcus Rashford only for Dier to dispossess him inside the penalty area, and then Vorm raced out of his area to block a pass to Lukaku – with his back rather than, as many United fans suspected, his hands. But if this victory was never destined to be comfortable, it was in the end convincing.
TG

8 for 8

I have no idea why I though it would be any different this year, but once again we lose in the FA Cup semi final.  Our 8th such loss in a row. WE did go 0 - 1 up but Man U fought back and reach the final with a 2 - 1 win.

I expect we shall also be pipped to the post by Chelsea for 4th spot now...

Where's the Fuss?


View from the common lift area- we're further down the corridor


Neat and tidy as you like

In Reply


20th April, 2018

To The Management - in reply to your letter of 18th April (copy enclosed).

Many thanks for taking the time and trouble to write to us in English, we are grateful.  Please accept our apologies for replying in English as we are unfortunately unable to communicate well in Thai.

It seems that you are concerned that we are making the condo “untidy” and causing an “inconvenience” by leaving our shoes on our own doorstep.  We simply do not understand why you feel this is so as we have a shoe rack that ensures our footwear is stacked neatly off the floor.  It is not visible from the common areas (such as the lifts/elevators) and only noticeable if standing directly in front of our door.  Nor, as the rack is not in the corridor but on our doorstep do we see how this “inconveniences” anyone else. 

Prior to your company taking over the management of this building we, and many other tenants/owners, left their footwear on their doorsteps.  This is in keeping with Thai/Buddhist etiquette that believes that such footwear is dirty and should not be permitted into your home.  This custom is widely practised throughout the Kingdom of Thailand from temples to shops to private residences and public areas.

There has never been a problem with this in the past but for some reason, since you have taken over, you feel you have a right to challenge this convention.  Yet you yourselves insist footwear is removed when using the toilets next to your main office or when using the swimming pool.  Indeed, why do your own maintenance personnel always remove their footwear when entering our premises? 

We have been living here peacefully and respectfully for three years now and we take pride in looking after our apartment.  We employ a local lady to come and clean every week and she does a first class job keeping the floors spotless.  Given the state of the corridors we do not wish to bring in dust, grime and dirt from outside leaving footprints or mess on our polished floors.

For the record, we never leave garbage in the corridor at any time.

We trust that you now understand our viewpoint and disinclination to comply with your request, and unless you can provide a valid and legitimate reason otherwise, we hope this is now an end to the matter. 

Yours respectfully